


hellacious japery

by melodicMasochist



Series: I think i'm addicted to making pesterlogs [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Betrayal, M/M, dave confesses his undying love, karkat is a savage, pesterlogs, rip dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:39:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodicMasochist/pseuds/melodicMasochist
Summary: TT: hey kk i know we havent talked much recently but i have something i want to get off my chest





	hellacious japery

TT: hey kk i know we havent talked much recently but i have something i want to get off my chest

TT: i love you

TT: like romantically

TT: sexually

TT: i want to be yours it was meant to be

TT: we would be the perfect couple cant you see it?

CG: DAVE.

TT: dont worry about dave he doesnt have to know about any of it

TT: itll be a surprise for him

TT: like maybe hell walk in on us doing it and were all surprise bitch

TT: and hell be jealous as hell because together we will be hotter than anything he could ever be

TT: wed be so hot wed leave peoples shadows on the walls of any room we decide to make out in

TT: come on karkat i know you want me almost as bad as i want you

TT: lets just make it official and grace the world with our steamy couplehood

CG: DAVE, SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR THREE SECONDS. I KNOW THIS ISNT ROSE. IF YOU WANT TO IMPERSONATE YOUR SISTER, YOU SHOULD STOP FOR A SECOND AND FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE STEPS: TALK LIKE YOU RULE THE FUCKING WORLD AND ARE AN ALL KNOWING OMNIPOTENT GOD. KIND OF LIKE ME.

CG: ALSO.

CG: CURRENTLY I DONT HAVE A PROPER ANSWER AS A YES NOR A NO FOR THESE... PROPOSITIONS.

CG: OVERALL, IM FUCKING CONFUSED.

CG: REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED.

TT: its quite simple karkat

TT: youre a killjoy and im pulling one of the funniest pranks in history

TT: a bit cliche yes but come on i have her phone what else am i supposed to do?

TT: own up and give it back to her like a fucking gentleman?

CG: ONLY WEAK BITCHES SUCCUMB TO GENTLEMANLINESS. FUCK THAT. THIS "PRANK" DOES SEEM TO HAVE A FEW FLAWS, THOUGH.

TT: such as what, my critical chuckleguru?

CG: YOU'VE SAT HERE AND WILLINGLY CONFESSED TO ME YOUR UNDYING LOVE WITH SOME GRAPHIC DETAILS OF YOUR WISHES TO DO, WHAT IS UNDOUBTEDLY, THE DIRTY DEED WITH ME.

TT: of course i have thats part of the prank the shock value of rose lalonde of all people throwing herself at you without abandon

TT: it catches you off guard and makes you really consider things

TT: and you know what rose is pretty hot so at least part of you wants to say yes

TT: at least when it first comes through and then youre left all confuzzled about life and love

CG: SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND, DAVE. AT LEAST I LET PEOPLE HAVE HAPPINESS.

CG: HAHA.

CG: NO, SCRATCH THAT.

CG: ONLY SOMETIMES.

TT: that is the truth dudebro

TT: but doesnt that add to the shock and awe portion of this illustrious jape?

CG: NO.

CG: ON ANOTHER NOTE, I'VE TAKEN MULTIPLE SCREENSHOTS OF YOUR EARLIER ILLUSTRATIONS OF WANTON LUST FOR ME AND KANAYA IS FINDING THEM VERY ENTERTAINING.

TT: dont give me that shit karkat kanayas just downstairs shes been quiet for like twenty minutes

TT: she wouldnt be cool knowing ive been fucking around up here karkat you didnt send them to her did you

CG: NO, I DID. SHE'S PROBABLY FROWNING IN DISAPPROVAL AND COMING UP WITH HOW SHES GOING TO SLICE YOU IN HALF AS WE SPEAK. "IS A HORIZONTAL-CUT STRIDER MORE SATISFYING THAN A VERTICAL-CUT ONE?"

TT: hell karkat gimme a sec im jumping in bed with rose

TT: and i was having such a nice talk with jade too

TT: she wont know who to cut if were both buried in here

CG: ROSE IS PROBABLY AWAKE.

TT: rose + kan trying to kill me sos come help

CG: OKAY.

TT: sos come help

TT: i hate you

CG: LOVE YOU TOO, STRIDER. SEE YOU IN A BIT.

TT: fuck you karkat

CG: (:B

**Author's Note:**

> finally got the pesterlog formatting down.


End file.
